when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
