have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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