I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
