I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
