guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
