So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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