My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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