but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
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Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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