Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
