There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
