TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
