For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs