I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
