When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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