We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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