i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize