I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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