fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
