Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my sisters under your porch take her home
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Shame - the story of my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
