My room smells like vodka and shame
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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