Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
