this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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