Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
