he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
