census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
