i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
