It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
that is very illegal...i love you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize