Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's always time for handjobs
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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