I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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