Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
