Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
