i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
