I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
where are my eyebrows?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
