Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
