I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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