PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize