Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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