Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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