why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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