just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want her autograph on my taint
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
