Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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