she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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