Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
