Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
