Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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