So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
