Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
