Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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