obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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