before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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