doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
