This is not my ceiling
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize