Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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