took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize