Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
