the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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