It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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