I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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