am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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