so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
