I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
